7 Ways to Remember Your Pet

June 9, 2020 will mark the annual World Pet Memorial Day, a day where we remember those beloved pets we’ve lost. In honor of the occasion, I thought this would be a good time to talk about ways we can honor and remember our pets after they depart this earthly life.

When I lost my Old English Sheepdog, Garcia back in 2011, one of the things that I really struggled with was coming up with a way to remember him.  I just felt lost without him—and I wanted to make certain that Garcia’s memory stayed alive in a way that honored the time I had with him. No easy feat considering the eleven years we shared together.

I’m not ashamed to admit that it took me several years before I was able to go through with my memorial—a rainbow tattoo with the letter G, my nickname for Garcia—but I know from talking with others, sometimes the timing just has to be right. When grief is fresh, it’s not uncommon to feel confused, indecisive, or even impulsive, so, in retrospect, I’m glad I waited until I was certain.  

From my work experience with Paws to Remember, I’ve found that many grieving pet owners want to find ways to remember their pets, but often don’t know how or where to turn.

Though this is by no means an exhaustive list, I’ve compiled the ideas in hopes that those looking for a creative, meaningful way to memorialize a pet might find comfort or inspiration.

(1) Plant something.  

One way to create a lasting, beautiful memorial to a pet is to plant something in the pet’s honor—whether a tree, plant, or flowers. Many communities offer ways to plant memorial trees in public spaces, or greenways.  

One of my dearest friends, Robert, planted a whole grove of trees in memory of several of the dogs he has lost over the years, and it’s such a beautiful, living tribute to those companions with whom he’s shared his life. 

This is such a smart idea:  not only is this a living, breathing tribute to Robert’s dogs, but it also provides a place where he can remember them, and it’s something that the community can share in.  

(2) Memorial donations

Another beautiful way to honor and celebrate a pet’s life is by making a memorial donation in the pet’s name to an organization, charity, or not-for-profit.  There are myriad wonderful places in this community that would welcome the support.  

Places to consider are animal rescue organizations, pet charities, or any cause near and dear to your heart.  Giving is such a beautiful way to remember and celebrate a pet’s love.

One local pet lover I know, Marcia Masulla, went so far as to create a not for profit organization, Tiny But Mighty, that honors the spirit and memory of her rescue Chihuahua Chico.

Given how much unconditional love and joy our pets bring, there is something remarkably fitting about honoring them in ways that help and benefit others.  

(3) Jewelry

Many people these days opt for physical reminders of their pets, and in recent years, I’ve seen more and more offerings for memorial jewelry, including rings, bracelets, lockets, pendants—even special vessels that hold a small portion of a pet’s ashes or cremains.  

In my work with grieving pet owners, I have noticed that a physical reminder—something to hold on to after the pet is gone—can be tremendously comforting.  

After Garcia died, my mother made me a special, handmade necklace with Garcia’s picture that I cherish to this day.

If you are considering memorial jewelry, keep in mind that artists and artisans are one possible route—and a search of etsy.com might be worthwhile for finding someone to create a one-of-a-kind piece.

It should be noted that there are companies that offer what they call “memorial diamonds” – diamonds made from a pet’s ashes, as well as other gemstones.  This alone is a testament to just how much people love their pets—and while these can be pricey, how to memorialize a pet, like grief, is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong way.

(4) Art

I was so lucky to have good friends who presented me with a beautiful hand-painted portrait of Garcia after he passed away.  That beautiful piece of art hangs proudly in my home to this day.

Custom art is a wonderful way to memorialize a pet—whether big or small, realistic or whimsical.   Nashville is brimming with talented artists, and if you don’t have someone in mind, ask around: I have seen some overwhelmingly beautiful artwork commemorating pets.  

Similar to custom jewelry, etsy.com is another option for finding an artist and commissioning a custom portrait or piece honoring the pet.

(5) Something more permanent

There are several options for more permanent memorials—headstones, custom urns, memorial boxes—available specifically for pets.  Your veterinarian may be able to provide assistance in finding a source—and please do consider local sources, as there are some excellent providers in this area.

In addition, many veterinarians, including my own, have offered clientele an opportunity to purchase an inscribed memorial brick in the past, as has Nashville Humane Association.  I loved having a chance to memorialize Garcia with a brick that I see every time I visit the vet and/or Humane Association.  That provided me with a great deal of comfort.

Another more permanent option—mentioned earlier—is a tattoo, which I finally did decide to do in Garcia’s memory.  I’m glad I took the time to think about it, but I can say without reservation:  I have zero regrets. I think of him every time I see it (it is on my ankle, so it is visible) and when people ask about it, I get to talk about how lucky I was to get to share a portion of my life with such a great companion.

(6) Write, Reflect, Join Support Groups, Share Memories

There is no greater tribute to a beloved companion animal than keeping the memory alive by writing about your lives together, taking time to reflect on your special bond, and joining with others—perhaps through support groups online or, when circumstances permit, in person.

For me, there was a time when I transitioned from being nearly unable to talk about Garcia at all to being able to share memories of him, his funny antics, and those Garcia stories I hold dear.

While it’s important not to push yourself to get to that point on a certain timeline, know that it is possible—and if you allow yourself the proper time and space to heal from your loss, you will get there.

In counseling, I’ve witnessed a strange phenomenon:  when, in a group session, attendees reach a level where they’re able to share stories about and fond memories of their pets, there is a palpable feeling—an energy shift—that occurs.  My trainer, Dr. Wallace Sife, believed that the energy shift was what happened when we kept our animals alive by talking about them and sharing stories.  It’s a remarkable thing to behold, and an experience that happened like clockwork every single time we began sharing our stories.  It was almost as if all our beloved pets were with us again, not in their earthly bodies, but in spirit, shining down on us.

My hope for anyone who has ever loved and lost a pet is this:  may you reach the point where your sadness is replaced by fond, warm, wonderful memories.

(7) Spread kindness.

Finally, sometimes the simplest ideas are the most meaningful.  Honor your pet by doing an act of kindness. Buy coffee for the person behind you in the drive thru. Leave someone a nice tip. Pay a sincere compliment.  Send a friend a note of encouragement.  Even a small act can have a tremendous impact. What a lovely way to honor a pet—spreading love and joy, just as your pet during his or her time on earth.

Again, this list is not exhaustive, so please feel free to ideas on how you memorialized a pet in the comments section below.

Next month, I’ll delve into the topic of pet memorial services and celebrations of life.